https://youtu.be/MuHNNnrus0A

You can sharpen your mental focus right before an important business conversation or presentation.  Here are two simple techniques that will help you feel and look fully present and energized.

You probably know that actors warm up their bodies and voices right before a performance.  Well, they also warm up their brains before they go on stage!   As a business professional, you can sharpen your mental focus before you speak, in the same way that actors do, right before they go on stage.

Before you enter the room where you’ll be speaking for business, find a private spot, and try the following:

1. Busy your brain with arithmetic!  That’s right:  Do arithmetic, starting with small sums.  Add numbers like 64 and 27.  After a few combinations like this, graduate to larger figures, like 459 and 3897.   It really is OK if your answers are not correct; the point of the exercise is to work the brain; to make the effort.
2. Busy your brain with Jeapardy; just like the game show!  Think of any simple category.  Speak/whisper all the words you can think of that belong in that category.  When your ideas stop flowing relatively easily, change the category and repeat the exercise.  Categories like “capital cities of the world” and “languages of the world”, etc., are good ways to begin.  The choice of categories is almost endless.  Choose categories that are challenging enough to work your brain and  that give you a sense of achievement.

Mental gymnastics will energize you and help you feel and look authoritative. They are very useful tools to help you deliver your ideas with confidence and focus!

https://youtu.be/yMKr1xAI3oM

You can engage your business listeners fully by “taking stage”:  capturing their attention and keeping it.

How do professional actors get the audience’s attention and keep them riveted to the action of a play? One answer is that they take stage: they inhabit the space with a “do or die” purpose and an attitude of complete belonging.

Business professionals need to do the same thing, in order to persuade and inspire your business listeners, whether you are speaking one on one, or to a group; whether you are speaking informally, or delivering a PowerPoint presentation.

Here are three techniques to help you take stage –to command your listeners’ attention and keep it:

1.  Before you begin, situate yourself in a position of power whenever possible.  When you are speaking to a group, that’s usually front and center.  Whether you are seated or standing, begin with both feet planted firmly on the ground, and imagine that your legs are tree trunks and that your feet are roots extending deep into the ground. This initial grounding helps you claim the space as your own and gives weight to your movements. It helps you project confidence and authority.

2.  If you’re standing, stand away from furniture and resist any temptation to lean for support. If someone offers you a podium when you speak to a group, politely decline it whenever possible, unless you truly need it.  You want to eliminate as many physical barriers as possible that might come between you and your audience. If you must use a podium, stand tall and don’t lean on it!

3.  If you have handouts for a talk, whenever possible, distribute them after your talk has ended — not before or during the talk.  Giving people material to read during your talk encourages them to focus on the written word and encourages them to ignore you!  Giving material in advance can send the message that your listeners might just as effectively have read your talk — that they did not need to hear you live and in person!

Take stage to engage your listeners.  Better yet, take stage to captivate your business listeners!

https://youtu.be/IDM9d7wxBmM

You can increase the impact that you have on your business listeners by revealing who YOU are when you speak!

Consider the impact that actors have on their audiences. Many years ago, Marlon Brando said, “Acting is the ancient, instinctive art of representing ourselves to others in a way that reflects how we truly are.”

Successful business speaking also reflects how we truly are. It shows your business listeners what they’re doing, how they’re doing it, and how they might do it better. It also shows them how you, the speaker, truly are. And that means WHO you are.

Convincing actors and persuasive business speakers make their greatest impact through self-revelation.

To play a character convincingly and make the audience believe, actors reveal truths that lie in the deepest places of their own hearts: truths that lie inside every heart. The ability to reveal what is both personal and at the same time universal creates for the audience a transformative experience: when audiences recognize themselves in a character – when they can identify — they can understand more about our human condition, our limitations, and, most importantly, our potential.

This ability to reveal what is personal and at the same time universal is important in business speaking, too. Whether you are giving a power point presentation or talking with a prospect on a sales call, revealing who YOU are is a key ingredient in making a deep connection with your listeners and building their trust.

When you prepare to speak for business, decide what you will reveal about yourself in the following areas:
1. Your personal perspective about your business message
2. Your appreciation of your listeners and your enjoyment in speaking with them
3. True stories from your own life that will help illustrate your message

Be sure that your communication is supported by your vocal delivery, your body language, and every aspect of your demeanor.

Reveal who YOU are when you speak, to build trust and make your greatest impact!

I recently read that Abraham Lincoln co-owned a general store for a short period of time and that his store failed because he “wasn’t a very good salesperson”;  he was “frequently a little too honest about his products…”

I began thinking again about the qualities of a good salesperson, the relationship between honesty and successful selling, and why that story might be of interest to so many professionals.

Almost everyone in the world of work is a salesperson. Whether we are business owners, work for a corporation, or bring our talents to other professional areas, we are all involved (directly or indirectly) in selling ideas, products, or services.

Only the naïve believe that success in business is always accompanied by strict honesty at all times, but the old adage “honesty is the best policy” is usually a wise goal. We cannot be all things to all people and cannot be all things for all clients and prospects. We can certainly try our best, and if we cannot deliver, we can offer to clients and prospects alternative sources to find solutions.

Of course, some who are dedicated to enhancing/maintaining their professional image have been known to bend the truth quite a bit and often make a lot of money doing so. Many years ago, the adult grandson of a restaurant manager told me a true story that I have never forgotten. The restaurant was part of one of the biggest and most successful hotels located in the Catskill Mountains during the 1950’s. One night, when the restaurant was filled to capacity, a diner who was seated with a large group of people started screaming, because she found an enormous cockroach in her food. The manager rushed over to the table, saw the cockroach, and knew that the restaurant could now lose not only these customers, but the ones seated at the surrounding tables. With a grand gesture, he immediately grabbed a spoon, removed the cockroach from the woman’s plate, and popped the insect into his own mouth, chewing and swallowing with delight. Smiling broadly, he loudly proclaimed, “That was no cockroach, Madam. That was our most exotic mushroom, a true delicacy imported from Asia!”

How far would you go, to salvage your professional image and keep your sales moving forward?

https://youtu.be/Y6J2tqiXENc

In my last blog, I wrote about your use of pauses, to allow your ideas to land when you speak & engage your listeners.

Today, I’m going to talk about the power of the surprising pause. Successful business speakers, like good actors, use the surprising pause strategically to command attention and add depth to their message. The element of surprise is a key factor in capturing and keeping your listeners’ attention when you speak for business. Pausing at meaningful and surprising moments can be helpful to you in three ways:

1.   It creates variety in your delivery:  A moment of unexpected silence provides the greatest contrast to a stream of words.

2.   It creates suspense:  It teases your listeners for a moment, making them want to hear more.

3.   It gives your listeners a window into your inner world:  Listeners want to know what is “going on” with the speaker underneath the words.  A surprising pause filled with meaning allows your listeners to observe a different quality in your expressiveness and gain additional perspectives.

In the video version of this blog, I demonstrate now just how effective a surprising pause can be. You may wish to view that now; simply click the thumbnail for the video.

If you prefer to continue reading:
I use the following sentence as an example of the use of the surprising pause. It’s a sentence about concept of supply and demand: an excerpt from a play called Other People’s Money, by Jerry Sterner; which was first produced Off Broadway and later made into a film with Richard Dreyfus.  Here is the sentence:
“One day, when the dollar is weaker or the yen stronger, or when we finally begin to rebuild the roads, the bridges, the infrastructure of our country, demand will skyrocket.”

Logical but predictable moments to pause would be after the words, “day, stronger, and country”.   A more interesting choice would be to add meaningful pauses after the words, “dollar, yen, and demand”.   The surprise and suspense created in those moments leads to a more compelling delivery.

As you rehearse your business talk, consider why and when you will pause. Take logical, meaningful pauses at moments when those pauses might be most surprising.

Make your delivery truly compelling —  and captivate your listeners!

https://youtu.be/RC9A14CsNmM

In today’s videoblog, I’ll share the third and final step in my three-part series called “How to Engage Your Listeners by Allowing Your Ideas to Land.”

In my last two videoblogs, I talked about the first two steps in this process: (1) Speak in complete thoughts and (2) pursue your point with energy and focus.

Today, I’ll share step three: Pause briefly after speaking a complete thought, to allow the idea to “land”.

Successful business speakers, like good actors, always consider pacing when they prepare to speak. The tempo of the spoken word has a strong impact on the listener and directly influences the way speakers are perceived. This raises the issue of pausing.

Even the smartest and best listeners need a moment to digest a complete thought. When you are speaking face-to face or on camera, your listeners need time to interpret meaning from a broad palette:  a palette that includes your visual as well as vocal delivery.  So, pauses are important.

A University of Michigan study revealed that speakers who never paused had the lowest success rate in getting listeners to do what they wanted them to do.  The great British actor, John Gielgud, famously said that, when acting Shakespeare, the pauses are the most important moments of the speech!    He knew that pauses can be captivating.

Help your business listeners receive the full impact of your message by giving them the gift of time. Pause briefly after each complete thought, to let it “land”. Don’t be in a rush to go on to your next idea. The pause will also give you time to get a reading on your listener’s understanding and engagement level. During the pause, breathe deeply and maintain good eye contact.

Without the pauses, your listeners may feel overwhelmed by an unmanageable amount of input. They may lose some of your meaning; they might even tune you out.

When you give your listeners time to process each thought, you are respecting their needs while you communicate your own conviction that your message is important.

Never underestimate the power of the pause!

https://youtu.be/i1N1BQxryVU

In today’s blog, I’ll write more about how to keep your listeners engaged by allowing your ideas to land when you speak.

Last time, I wrote about Step One in this process:   Speak in thought groups.  Today, I’ll write about Step Two: Pursue your point with energy and focus.  I’ll share some early advice given to me by one of my teachers:   the late Mira Rostova, (who for many years was coach to the great film actor, Montgomery Clift).

One of the most common mistakes speakers make is to put focus on (to stress) each word – or too many words — within a complete thought.   Speakers who do this are usually attempting to be clear, but the result is often a delivery that sounds unfocused, pedantic, or even condescending.   While every word that you speak “counts” and should be understood by the listener, take time to consider which of your words should receive focus and which should not.

Prepare with these three strategies:

1.  Review your notes and identify the focus word of each complete thought. Remember that the more words you stress, the more you lose focus and clarity — so be very discriminating as you choose your focus words.  Make word-stress choices in creative ways that add depth and an interesting perspective to your ideas.  This can add an element of surprise to your delivery, which is very engaging.

2. Underline the focus words of each complete thought.

3. Rehearse aloud, stressing only the focus words of each complete thought. Put your attention on your focus words.   Keep them at the forefront of your mind, and pursue them energetically as you speak.   My late teacher, Mira Rostova, used to  say, “Go for the point! Go for the point!”   Mira was talking about pursuing your point with focus and energy.  Rehearsing this way will help you drive your ideas and will prepare you for the third and final step in this process.

So, be sure to read my next blog:  Step Three for How To Engage Your Listeners by Allowing Your Ideas to Land When You Speak.

At networking events, do you fail to project the image you desire? Do you find it difficult to turn networking conversations into relationships that lead to sales?

It may be because you are not speaking strategically to project a spirit of cooperation.

Here are some “Networking No-No’s” (behaviors that work against a spirit of cooperation):

• Doing most of the talking and/or interrupting your conversation partner: Instead, find out about the other person.  Ask questions, listen actively, and  respond with words and body language.  Mirror back to the speaker what you have understood him/her to say.  Let your conversation partner do most of the talking!

• Trying to sell your products/services: Instead, give before you get. Listen for ways that you can help your conversation partner. Offer introductions, suggestions, information, invitations, volunteering, advice, etc.  This increases the likelihood that your listener will want to collaborate and reciprocate!

• Being carelessly “broad”  in attempting humor with people you’ve just met: Instead, when using humor, stick to self-deprecating humor. Remember that individual sense of humor (influenced by culture and other complex factors) is a delicate and mysterious phenomenon. If you tell a joke or make a comment in jest that the listener doesn’t understand, misconstrues, or simply does not find funny, your attempt at humor may backfire. When you wish to use humor with a new acquaintance, poke fun at yourself. Most people will appreciate your humility and ability to take yourself lightly.

When networking, be a “smart talker” in the true sense of the word.  Project a spirit of cooperation and begin building relationships that lead to sales!

One of my clients (let’s call her “Jane”) recently asked my advice about how to communicate with a colleague who routinely speaks to her in a manner that Jane describes as “condescending”.  Jane said that “her blood boils” whenever they talk together during the course of the business week, because this colleague (whose position in the company is at the same managerial level as Jane’s) routinely projects an attitude of superiority.

Jane reports that after a few minutes of conversation with The Condescend-er, Jane often feels insulted and wants to end the dialogue.  Ending the conversation, in truth, would not serve Jane, because these two professionals have important business decisions to make together each week.

Jane’s dilemma is not uncommon.  Her task in this business situation is to put principles above personalities.  This means that Jane should place her focus on the priority (the business communication at hand), and not exhaust energy on her own feelings or judgments about her colleague’s communication style or personal attitudes.  The objective is to communicate effectively to achieve specific business goals, and this can best be accomplished when one is emotionally centered and free of insecurity, frustration, anger, and feelings of insult.

It is certainly important to acknowledge one’s own feelings when one perceives condescension in a conversation partner.  It is also useful to develop the ability to contain those feelings and set them aside, to achieve the larger business goal.  Most people are more skilled at this than they realize.  For example, a mother who sees her small child running into oncoming traffic would probably run into the street to grab the child and, in that instant, put aside any fears about her own personal safety: achieving the higher goal, the safety of the child, takes precedence.

While business conversations are less dramatic than this example, speakers who interact with Condescend-ers can choose actions (conversation behaviors) that support the larger business goal, rather than those that are based upon emotions.

Here are three tips that can help:

Do not allow The Condescend-er to lose face.
Most people who are condescending have a strong desire to prove that they are right and you are wrong.   Many of them are not interested in win-win situations, but interested in win-lose situations.  Of course, they want to appear to be the winners.  You can remain focused on your business message and take the higher ground:  find a communication style that allows The Condescend-er to feel that he/she is right.  If you believe that this person is wrong, and when you must assert facts, opinions, news, etc. that might contradict The Condescend-er, do it with words/phrases that add ideas rather than oppose ideas.  One simple strategy is to use the word “and” to add a contradictory idea, rather than using the word “but” (as people often do).

Use the acting technique:  “Act As If”.
The deep-seated motivation underneath most condescending speech/behavior is a desire to feel better about one’s self.  It is useful to remember that this behavior is often an indicator of low self-esteem.  Before your blood starts to boil with The Condescend-er, keep in mind that this person may actually be hurting inside, and use the actors’ technique:  “act as if”.  View your conversation partner in a manner that supports your goals.   View The Condescend-er as if he/she were a wounded person with a large bandage on his/her head.  Treat Condescend-ers as if they were extremely fragile (as, indeed they actually are).  Your “acting as if” (with complete commitment) will allow you to treat Condescend-ers with gentleness, kindness, and compassion.  This will reduce their defensiveness and help you feel strong, capable, and confident.  You will both be better able to focus on the greater good:  the business task at hand.  Act as if.

Remember that feelings are not always based on fact.
As you communicate with Condescend-ers, you may interpret their behavior to reflect the “fact” that they feel superior to you, and you may feel hurt, angry, insulted, etc.  It is useful to remember that when you perceive condescension in others, there is always the possibility that what you are perceiving as condescension is really something else —  and/or has nothing at all to do with you or how the person feels about you. I learned this lesson during my life on the professional stage.  During a singing performance one night, I happened to notice an acquaintance in the front row of the audience.  While I was singing, she was looking at me with a facial expression that (I thought) could only have been interpreted to mean that she was revolted and found my singing to be utterly objectionable.  I was quite hurt and resented her for a long time after that.  Ten years later, I happened to meet her by chance, and she spontaneously said, “Maria, ten years ago I came to hear you sing and it was very difficult for me.  As you were singing so beautifully, I was reminded of my childhood feelings of jealousy toward my sister, who sang so well.  I always felt inferior to her because she was so talented.”   We don’t always know the facts, do we?

Summary

When you see an expression on someone’s face or hear a tone of voice that disturbs you, it is useful to remember that your conversation partner may be responding to something that has nothing at all to do with you!  Condescend-ers are truly harmless.  You can focus on business goals in conversation with them by (1) using words/phrases strategically, (2) using the actors’ technique of acting as if, and (3) remembering that your feelings are not always based on facts.

In my last blog, I opened with two compelling statistics about the impact of non-verbal communication and addressed three behaviors that influence face-to-face interactions:  smiling, the head nod, and placing the fingers in front of one’s mouth while speaking.

Here are four additional aspects of body language (specifically, the use of your hands) related to general tendencies in perception within United States:

1. Helplessness and/or an urgency to be understood are communicated when you speak with your hands open at chest level and spread sideways with the palms up.
2. Speaking with the hand(s) up and palm(s) facing outward can communicate messages influenced by gender:  When a man does this, it sends a placating message; when a woman does it, the message is flirtatious.
3. Pointing with a finger (and especially with an object, such as a pen) sends a message of aggressiveness.
4. A subtext of disagreement is sent when your arms are crossed over your chest.

Here are some tips regarding your body language during business communication, whether you are speaking informally or giving a formal presentation:

• Keep your hands open and available for natural gestures; do not plan or rehearse gestures!
• A waist-level position for the hands (with palms relaxed and fingers slightly curved) is often appropriate.
• When gesturing, use both hands whenever possible.
• Put pens and pointers down when you are not using them.

Savvy business speakers think about non-verbal communication the way that actors do:  they remain conscious of the fact that listeners who can see you are watching you very carefully and interpreting meaning from every aspect of your body language.

As you speak for business, be mindful of any physical behaviors you exhibit that may be sending unintended messages, and make appropriate changes (even if it initially takes you out of your comfort zone).  The results will have a dramatic impact on your projection of confidence, warmth, and authority — as well as your ability to persuade.