https://youtu.be/RC9A14CsNmM

In today’s videoblog, I’ll share the third and final step in my three-part series called “How to Engage Your Listeners by Allowing Your Ideas to Land.”

In my last two videoblogs, I talked about the first two steps in this process: (1) Speak in complete thoughts and (2) pursue your point with energy and focus.

Today, I’ll share step three: Pause briefly after speaking a complete thought, to allow the idea to “land”.

Successful business speakers, like good actors, always consider pacing when they prepare to speak. The tempo of the spoken word has a strong impact on the listener and directly influences the way speakers are perceived. This raises the issue of pausing.

Even the smartest and best listeners need a moment to digest a complete thought. When you are speaking face-to face or on camera, your listeners need time to interpret meaning from a broad palette:  a palette that includes your visual as well as vocal delivery.  So, pauses are important.

A University of Michigan study revealed that speakers who never paused had the lowest success rate in getting listeners to do what they wanted them to do.  The great British actor, John Gielgud, famously said that, when acting Shakespeare, the pauses are the most important moments of the speech!    He knew that pauses can be captivating.

Help your business listeners receive the full impact of your message by giving them the gift of time. Pause briefly after each complete thought, to let it “land”. Don’t be in a rush to go on to your next idea. The pause will also give you time to get a reading on your listener’s understanding and engagement level. During the pause, breathe deeply and maintain good eye contact.

Without the pauses, your listeners may feel overwhelmed by an unmanageable amount of input. They may lose some of your meaning; they might even tune you out.

When you give your listeners time to process each thought, you are respecting their needs while you communicate your own conviction that your message is important.

Never underestimate the power of the pause!

https://youtu.be/i1N1BQxryVU

In today’s blog, I’ll write more about how to keep your listeners engaged by allowing your ideas to land when you speak.

Last time, I wrote about Step One in this process:   Speak in thought groups.  Today, I’ll write about Step Two: Pursue your point with energy and focus.  I’ll share some early advice given to me by one of my teachers:   the late Mira Rostova, (who for many years was coach to the great film actor, Montgomery Clift).

One of the most common mistakes speakers make is to put focus on (to stress) each word – or too many words — within a complete thought.   Speakers who do this are usually attempting to be clear, but the result is often a delivery that sounds unfocused, pedantic, or even condescending.   While every word that you speak “counts” and should be understood by the listener, take time to consider which of your words should receive focus and which should not.

Prepare with these three strategies:

1.  Review your notes and identify the focus word of each complete thought. Remember that the more words you stress, the more you lose focus and clarity — so be very discriminating as you choose your focus words.  Make word-stress choices in creative ways that add depth and an interesting perspective to your ideas.  This can add an element of surprise to your delivery, which is very engaging.

2. Underline the focus words of each complete thought.

3. Rehearse aloud, stressing only the focus words of each complete thought. Put your attention on your focus words.   Keep them at the forefront of your mind, and pursue them energetically as you speak.   My late teacher, Mira Rostova, used to  say, “Go for the point! Go for the point!”   Mira was talking about pursuing your point with focus and energy.  Rehearsing this way will help you drive your ideas and will prepare you for the third and final step in this process.

So, be sure to read my next blog:  Step Three for How To Engage Your Listeners by Allowing Your Ideas to Land When You Speak.

At networking events, do you fail to project the image you desire? Do you find it difficult to turn networking conversations into relationships that lead to sales?

It may be because you are not speaking strategically to project a spirit of cooperation.

Here are some “Networking No-No’s” (behaviors that work against a spirit of cooperation):

• Doing most of the talking and/or interrupting your conversation partner: Instead, find out about the other person.  Ask questions, listen actively, and  respond with words and body language.  Mirror back to the speaker what you have understood him/her to say.  Let your conversation partner do most of the talking!

• Trying to sell your products/services: Instead, give before you get. Listen for ways that you can help your conversation partner. Offer introductions, suggestions, information, invitations, volunteering, advice, etc.  This increases the likelihood that your listener will want to collaborate and reciprocate!

• Being carelessly “broad”  in attempting humor with people you’ve just met: Instead, when using humor, stick to self-deprecating humor. Remember that individual sense of humor (influenced by culture and other complex factors) is a delicate and mysterious phenomenon. If you tell a joke or make a comment in jest that the listener doesn’t understand, misconstrues, or simply does not find funny, your attempt at humor may backfire. When you wish to use humor with a new acquaintance, poke fun at yourself. Most people will appreciate your humility and ability to take yourself lightly.

When networking, be a “smart talker” in the true sense of the word.  Project a spirit of cooperation and begin building relationships that lead to sales!

In my last blog, I opened with two compelling statistics about the impact of non-verbal communication and addressed three behaviors that influence face-to-face interactions:  smiling, the head nod, and placing the fingers in front of one’s mouth while speaking.

Here are four additional aspects of body language (specifically, the use of your hands) related to general tendencies in perception within United States:

1. Helplessness and/or an urgency to be understood are communicated when you speak with your hands open at chest level and spread sideways with the palms up.
2. Speaking with the hand(s) up and palm(s) facing outward can communicate messages influenced by gender:  When a man does this, it sends a placating message; when a woman does it, the message is flirtatious.
3. Pointing with a finger (and especially with an object, such as a pen) sends a message of aggressiveness.
4. A subtext of disagreement is sent when your arms are crossed over your chest.

Here are some tips regarding your body language during business communication, whether you are speaking informally or giving a formal presentation:

• Keep your hands open and available for natural gestures; do not plan or rehearse gestures!
• A waist-level position for the hands (with palms relaxed and fingers slightly curved) is often appropriate.
• When gesturing, use both hands whenever possible.
• Put pens and pointers down when you are not using them.

Savvy business speakers think about non-verbal communication the way that actors do:  they remain conscious of the fact that listeners who can see you are watching you very carefully and interpreting meaning from every aspect of your body language.

As you speak for business, be mindful of any physical behaviors you exhibit that may be sending unintended messages, and make appropriate changes (even if it initially takes you out of your comfort zone).  The results will have a dramatic impact on your projection of confidence, warmth, and authority — as well as your ability to persuade.

A Harvard Business School study revealed that that 55% of the success of your business speaking is dependent upon your non-verbal communication.  A 2007 study by the American Optometric Association found that vision was the number one sense that people would not want to live without.  Dr. Vince Young, an opthamologist at Albert Einstein Medical Center in Philadelphia, says, “Americans tend to fear vision loss more than anything – more than memory loss or heart disease.”

Savvy business speakers, like actors, are always mindful of the fact that their face-to-face listeners are watching.  They are observing four basic non-verbal communication pathways, and one of these is your body language/gestures.

Messages communicated through body language vary according to culture.  Here are a few things to remember about general perception among people raised in the United States:

1. A smile is the most direct way to say, “I’m happy to be in your presence.”
2. The head nod is very important in communication and tells the communication partner “I understand” and/or “I agree”.  It elicits a positive response in the partner and is particularly effective for salespeople and anyone involved in business discussions or negotiations.
3. Raising your hand or fingers in front of your mouth during business discussions can communicate a withholding of information or reluctance to be completely forthcoming.

Remember that your face-to-face listeners are not just passively seeing: they are watching you carefully and interpreting meaning from every aspect of your body language.  As you speak for business,  maintain awareness of these three  aspects of your body language and gestures, and strive to make any physical adjustments necessary — even if it takes you out of your comfort zone.  The more you practice new behaviors, the more comfortable these behaviors will feel “on your body”.

And look for my next blog, which will provide information about three more aspects of body language/gestures — to help you project a positive and professional image when you speak for business.

Some clients tell me that they have been advised to practice in front of a mirror when they are rehearsing for a business talk. I discourage this strategy because it trains you, the speaker, to place focus on thoughts that can hinder your power to persuade and your projection of a positive, professional image.

When looking at ourselves in a mirror, most people become preoccupied by the way we look; this is probably human nature and unavoidable. Rehearsing for any business talk should be a process of training oneself to focus the mind correctly:  focusing on your purpose, goals, and objectives that are concerned with and directed toward the listener.

Rehearsing in front of a mirror actually trains you to focus on how you look; it develops and reinforces a preoccupation with self: a very unproductive habit.  The best speakers, conversely, focus outward:   they have trained their minds to do so.

Consider the slow-motion films of Olympic runners crossing the finish line, drenched in sweat, their faces distorted with effort, expending every last ounce of energy to achieve a goal. In their passion to win, they don’t have the slightest care about how they look.  They simply cannot waste their energy on such a concern.

Correct focus and a lack of concern for one’s appearance while speaking also applies to actors.   Unless the character she is playing is preoccupied with how she looks, the actor cannot spare any energy thinking about her physical appearance.  In order to be convincing, she must use all her energy to pursue her acting objectives: to get what the character wants in a given situation.

This is exactly what the business speaker must do:   focus on the needs, desires, and interests of the listeners – and, most importantly, on the actions that the speaker is taking towards those listeners.

Of course, at some point, business speakers must consider facial expressions, gestures, physical demeanor, and attire, etc.  This must occur before the talk begins: during the planning/rehearsal stages.   After you have done the correct internal preparation and rehearsed effectively — and once your physical demeanor matches your focus on the listener — you should forget about your appearance in front of the audience.   At that point, you are free to forget about it, because you are focusing on your objectives and your listeners.

But rehearsing in front of a mirror reinforces the habit of thinking about yourself while you are talking to your audience.   And consider this: a speaker’s preoccupation with self is usually detected by the listener and often projects arrogance or a lack of confidence.

So, rehearse constructively, and rehearse aloud:
• Keep your face up and out
• Focus on spots(s) on the wall or in the room in front of you
• Use the power of imagination: “paste” a friendly face on those spots as you speak, and direct all of your underlying communication actions outward: toward your listeners

This will have a dramatic effect on your power to persuade.

So much business speaking today is ineffective because speakers unnecessarily fear being perceived as “phony”.

When business speaking is lifeless and boring, it is often because the speaker mistakenly believes that using a higher energy level is dependent upon his/her experiencing a certain emotion.  When these speakers don’t feel that emotion, they settle for a humdrum demeanor, play it safe, and avoid the kind of energy for speaking that truly engages the listener.

Business speakers should adopt the attitude that actors take: a specific feeling does not have to be present in order for you to behave a certain way.  Acting “as if” you feel or think a certain way is the surest way to project the qualities you choose (poise and passion, for example) and increase your persuasive power.   Stanislavski (the great Russian director and teacher) called this the “magic if”.

Shakespeare was advising the same thing when he wrote, “Assume a virtue if you have it not.”

Speakers shouldn’t wait for a feeling of happiness before smiling, for example.  With the act of smiling, they are acting as if they are happy.  (And behavior can certainly induce a feeling).  Actions and feelings go together; feelings are not subject to direct command, behavior is subject to direct command.  Therefore, behaving a certain way, whether one “feels” that way or not, is paramount.  Behavior is king, particularly when the business audience is watching.

Finally, a second quote from Stanislavsky has relevance for your business speaking:  “Show me what a person DOES, and I’ll show you who he/she IS”.

Who does your business audience perceive YOU to be?  Your speaking behavior holds the key.

Every person connected with the theater knows that an audience must become engaged with the action on stage as soon as possible, in order for that stage effort to be successful. The same is true for your business presentations. You can start by applying three simple strategies at the beginning of each talk.

1. Maintain good eye contact.

Eye contact means “eyeball to eyeball”:  not looking at foreheads, to the tops of heads, or looking in the general direction of individuals. Make eye contact with people within audience sections:   for example, focus on individuals on the left side of the audience, then the right, then the center – or in any order you choose.   Be sure to cover the whole audience territory and remember to include people seated in the back rows.   Depending upon the size of your audience/venue, it may be challenging to make eye contact with people who are furthest away from you, but seek out as many eyes as possible.   Contrary to common fears, maintaining good eye contact actually helps relax you as a speaker.   Seeing people’s eyes will remind you that the audience is, after all, made up of regular folks just like you, and that they do want you to succeed. They are usually hopeful and expectant; they want to believe that they have made a good choice by attending your presentation!

2. Use a conversational tone, vary your pace, and be sure that conviction and passion are visible on your body and audible in your voice.

Most listeners respond favorably when a speaker communicates gratitude and humility, and a conversational tone helps project these qualities in you. It lets your audience know that you are approaching them as an expert who is an equal, not as a professor or pontificator.  Speak as you would during a one-on-one conversation, with the slight adjustment of a heightened energy.   Take the attitude that you are pleased to be sharing an important secret with your audience; that you are speaking confidentially to each individual listener.  Vary your pace, to generate interest and convey enthusiasm.  Take time to allow you thoughts to “land”, and occasionally pause for dramatic effect.  Audiotape your rehearsals; when you play back the tape, take special note of the moments when you sounded most authentic, most conversational; moments when your voice and YOU were “one”; when your voice is the true YOU. Analyze what you were doing that caused that authentic sound, and strive to replicate that underlying behavior (rather than the sound).   Your sound in any given moment is the result of your intention and communication behavior.   You can achieve an authentic and effective sound by doing something; pursuing an appropriate objective.  The degree of conviction and passion in your voice and gestures is within your control. Gestures and body language should match the intensity of your voice, as well as your content.

3. Ask questions and ask for volunteers.

Involve your audience by asking questions and inviting individuals to come to the platform area to participate in simple tasks/exercises related to your topic.   When you pose questions to your audience, people invariably answer them, which immediately makes the responders a part of the presentation. Audiences enjoy this. Ask questions that you know they can answer, and be sure that everything you ask is directly related to the purpose/main idea of your talk.  For pure engagement and entertainment value, nothing beats demonstrations by your audience members.   Create simple tasks/exercises for individuals or pairs that will illustrate your points. Ask for volunteers from the audience to come to the platform area; if people seem shy at first and no one immediately volunteers, wait. WAIT.   Have the courage to tolerate silence or hesitation from the audience, and during the silence, make strong eye contact with a broad smile and open arms.   Avoid all temptation to recruit individuals; allow them to volunteer. (During the hundreds of presentation I have made in all industries, I have never faced a situation where we lacked volunteers.)   Audiences include those who enjoy receiving attention and will rise to the occasion!   Audience members who remain seated become immediately captivated: this is theater, the drama of watching a situation unfold in the here and now, where anything can happen.  It is compelling and irresistible because of its immediacy.

When you involve your audience early in your talk in these three ways, you set the stage for the audience to bond with you.   The sooner they bond with you, the stronger their connection with you will be.   This is true engagement.

Our most powerful and persuasive speakers focus on the needs of their listeners, and this includes the need to understand the speaker’s message fully.

One way to help ensure your listeners’ complete comprehension is to allow your spoken ideas to “land”.  This is a concept that crafted actors always keep in mind.   It involves the following disciplines as you are speaking:

1.  Think in thought groups, not in words.

2.  Pursue the focus word of each thought, aiming for the point.

3.  Pause briefly between each thought, to breathe and allow the previous thought to be digested by the listeners.

1.  Think in thought groups.

While it is true that every word that you speak “counts” and should be heard/understood by the listener, every word is not equally important and, more to the point, we don’t think in words.  Your listeners don’t “hear in words”, either.  People think, speak, and listen in thought groups (ideas).

When you prepare to speak for business, analyze the whole message and each sentence (whether you are reviewing notes or a script), to determine where one thought ends and the next one begins.  It is helpful to ignore standard punctuation when doing this; punctuation is a navigational guide for the reader, not for the listener.

Focus on meaning and be sure where each thought begins and ends.  If you are inattentive to the end of one thought and the beginning of the next, your audience may become overwhelmed by an unmanageable amount of input and may be forced to tune out.

2.  Pursue the focus word of each thought.

Because all our words are not of equal importance, your preparation to speak should include a deep investigation of each thought you plan to express, to determine which word in the thought should receive the focus.

Deciding which word to view as the focus word is an interesting and fruitful endeavor; it has a strong impact on the degree to which you capture the listeners’ attention, keep them engaged, surprise them, and even entertain them.  The choice of one word instead of another should be based upon (1) which words constitute “new” information and which words constitute “old” (previously referred-to) information within that complete thought and (2) your own perspectives about the content within each complete thought.

If part of your preparation involves notes or a script (as I hope it does), underline the focus word of each thought and practice aloud, stressing only the focus word of each complete thought.  Pursue this word enthusiastically as you speak.

One of my acting teachers  (the late, great Mira Rostova – acting coach to Montgomery Clift), used to say, “Go for the point!  Go for the point!”

Doing so will drive your ideas with power.

3.  Pause briefly after each complete thought.

Even the smartest and best listeners require time to digest a complete thought.  Most people need more time to digest a spoken thought than  to digest that same thought when expressed in writing.  One of the reasons for this is that, for most people, the visual medium is more powerful than the auditory medium.  When people are both watching and listening to a speaker, they must process a greater amount of information than when they are only listening.  Therefore, it takes more time (even if it is only a few seconds longer) to sort and digest meaning from this wider palette.

When you speak for business, help your listeners understand your message by giving them time.   Pause briefly after each complete thought, to let it “land”.   Don’t be in a rush to go on to your next idea.   During that pause, breathe deeply, maintain eye contact, and smile whenever appropriate.   With content that is not “happy”, your demeanor and voice should project a positive spin:  as you speak, think thoughts similar to “I’m so happy to share this information with you” and “the good news is that this information will help you a great deal.”

When you give your listeners time to process each thought, you not only facilitate their comprehension, but you communicate your own conviction that your ideas have value and carry weight.

Allow time for your thoughts to “land” when you speak:  this will enhance your listeners’ comprehension and dramatically increase your persuasive power.